Jelbondo's profileJelly's JamBlogLists Tools Help

Jelly's Jam

A view into my mixed up world!
August 28

Frustration

I am sorry to say, I have had enough with MSN.  I have decided to quit, after TRYING to blog repeatedly after the last change.... you may have noticed that I have not!!!  Thanks everyone for your support and maybe you will find me out there somewhere else in blog land...
July 16

Lost

Lately I have been feeling lost.  Out of sorts.  Disconnected.
 
I have not been inclined to do anything.  I have not even felt like watching TV.  You know you are in a funk when you can't even get the energy to veg!  Books don't interest me, I have just been sitting outside staring!
 
I have been depressed, as I am in debt up to my eyeballs, and not sign of relief!  It has been hard, I worked really hard during Costume season, overtime really!  I cut my finger, so badly it is now permently damaged.  and.... i have NOTHING to show for it.  It did not reduce my debt at all, in fact it seemed to increase.  So what was the point!  I know the lawyer will eventually solve this for me, but in the mean time.... I have to find money to pay her!  (money, or even credit, I don;t have!)  It is depressing!
 
Well, last week I got tired of it, I got tired of being tired. 
 
Thursday, I cleaned the bottom of the basement stairs (this is a big thing, it took 5 minutes, but it cleared such a space in my head)  I then wrote a list of everything I felt I needed to do.  And then picked the funnest thing, my special project I started a while ago, but had to put off when costumes started!
 
The next morning, before the kids got up, I got four things done, I CLEANED my room, it looks spectacular (just don't look behind any closed doors or in the drawers! I cleaned the bathrooms, (another HUGE JOB that takes 5 mins, but I always feel better after!)  Organized my financial documents! (a most hated job, but it has to be done!) And finally cleaned up the scrapbooking cupboard!  ( a more fun job)
 
I felt sooooooo good!  I was able to goof off the rest of the day, and feel good about it!
 
I finished the special project, and now have to start part B (the second special project, as it turns out I needed two, and also it seems sometime in the next 2-3 weeks!!!!)
 
I also applied for two jobs, they pay enough to pay my bills!!! If I got one, I would be finally have the money to be independant, and more importantly, pay off some debts! (with time, and careful budgeting!)  I will continue to think positive!  I will keep you all posted!
 
Funny how doing one little thing, like picking up a few things can get you moving!  I feel so much better than I did a week or so ago!
 
Well, I have to start the BBQ!  steak and chicken!!! YUM YUM!
Jel
June 22

Tarot for today

Well, I decided to do a tarot reading asking where I am going , where is my path taking me?  Hemmm, the answer is not surprising, but positive? maybe?
 

Where am I going

Click for Details
Click for Details Click for Details
Click for Details Click for Details Click for Details Click for Details
Click for Details Click for Details

The Celtic Cross spread is one of the most popular Tarot spreads, providing varied insight into many aspects of a complex situation and your role in it. The Rider Waite Tarot is the most widely recognized Tarot deck, and the first deck published in the 20th century. It was created by members of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, and is especially suited to questions of a mystical nature.
Click for Details The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. Four of Cups (Luxury): Being surrounded by love and devotion but taking it for granted. Ignoring the real and longing for the indefinable. Apathy and disengagement from the world. Dissatisfaction with the condition and direction of affairs, but the inability to accept new opportunities.
Click for Details The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. The High Priestess: A pure, exalted and gracious influence. Education, knowledge, wisdom, and esoteric teachings. The forces of nature. Intuition, foresight, and spiritual revelation of the most mysterious and arcane sort.
Click for Details The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. Ace of Swords: The seed of victory - perhaps as yet unseen. A challenge to be met and solved through the invocation of force. An opportunity to bring reason and intelligence to bear in the pursuit of justice and truth. An excessive power that must not be abused. May suggest new ideas or information that can reveal a solution to the problem at hand.
Click for Details The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Four of Wands (Completion): A chance to rest and rejoice, having successfully resolved a matter of great import. The initial success of a business venture or creative project. The blossoming of a friendship or romantic relationship. Conclusions drawn based on hard won experience. Spiritual, material, or emotional rewards for diligent effort. May suggest marriage, childbirth, or a victory celebration.
Click for Details The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Three of Wands (Virtue): Personal fortitude and strength of character. Accumulated power set in motion towards a distant goal. The initiation of an enduring partnership based on absolute trust. Honor maintained in a time of desperate struggle. Taking full responsibility for a decision, and bearing the solitude of leadership.
Click for Details The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. The Lovers: A caring and trusting relationship. Beauty and inner harmony. A decision calling for emotional control and faithfulness to spiritual values.
Click for Details The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. The Chariot, when reversed: Ineffective use of force. Might turned against the weak or the righteous. Senseless violence and warmongering. Lack of discipline and poor direction fan the flames of a situation already out of control. Advance without consideration of the consequences for others.
Click for Details The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Knight of Wands, when reversed: The dark essence of fire, such as a great conflagration: One filled with vitality and limitless appetite. A sexy and exciting person, obsessed with style and outward appearance, overconfident in their abilities, and foolhardy in their actions. A hot temper and domineering nature, coupled with a love of false drama and all things theatrical. Anxiety over remaining in one place or with one person for too long. The rapid approach, or more likely departure, of someone or something that ruptures your world. Often suggests travel as the result of discord, or cruel indifference.
Click for Details The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Three of Cups (Abundance), when reversed: A time of shallow overindulgence, followed depletion. The successful but utterly unfulfilling conclusion of a matter. Satisfaction from sensual pleasures divorced from any sense of love. May indicate problems prematurely dismissed or a victory claimed before it is certain.
Click for Details The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Justice: The achievement of balance and inner harmony after a great trial. Agreements, contracts, or treaties concluded justly. Things set to rights. Karma restored. A turn for the better in legal matters.

Stuff

It is funny, I was reading the comments on my last entry, I was confused who keeps whisking me away, but then it dawned, I gave my address to someone recently, and I bet that is who it is, although, I thought non-MSN blogger could not leave messages!  Oh well, let me know if I am right.
My friend and I went out shopping for "stuff"  I got Martini glasses, I had to "christen" them that night, then last night again.  I am now feeling just a little under the weather!  I forgot how potent Cosmopolitans are!  Oh yeah, they are the reason I have a Gargoyle on my shoulder!!! LOL!
 
Last night I booked Edward a plane ticket to Vancouver (well Abbotsford actually) for his summer vacation.  It is going to be weird to have both kids gone for two whole weeks!  I am looking forward to it, in a way, in another way, I think it will be lonely.
 
I had a phone apt with my lawyer, we discussed the modified letter the the Bull, originally she had written it saying that he would continue to get the kids every other weekend, that of course needed changing.  I am to approve it, and it will be in the mail by the end of the week!  (I hope)  Next Step in my goals for the year!  I did want it all resolved by now, cause I really wanted to buy a house this summer, but, I guess I had un-realistic expectations!
 
Speaking of the Bull, he has (supposiedly) been sober for the past three weeks.  He stopped by on Saturday, he was helping his sister move furniture, then again on sunday, with a "snip-it" for me, and then he called on Monday to ask how the dog took the thunder storm (fine, no worries) then the next day, to tell my my cheque, that I was waiting for, had been sent to his house.  (side story, when I went to pick it up, he had opened it! grrr)  Oddly, he did not call yesterday. hmmmm, maybe he fell off the wagon.  Oh yeah, in one of the calls, he mentioned that he "had" to change the lock on the house, so my key would not work anymore!  I thought that was interesting, so did Mary!
 
Well, that is my update for the day, I should do some laundry, and get back to my school work!
 
 
 
June 21

Today

Aries Aries
March 20 - April 18
Your spiritual faith may be something on your mind today, dear Aries. Perhaps this is something that is well defined for you or maybe you're not prone to placing much in faith. Either way, if the subject is something that is in your thoughts, it may be a good time to explore the infinite number of belief systems that are there. World religion can be an extremely interesting subject. See what you can learn.
Taurus Taurus
April 19 - May 19
Is the religion or spiritual path you follow one that truly speaks to your heart, dear Taurus? It can be easy to simply follow suit with the traditions of your family or culture. Yet, the faith you choose needs to be one that you can identify with. Even if this means breaking the mold, it may be something you'll be glad for in the long run. Research what's out there. This is a good day to start.
Gemini Gemini
May 20 - June 20
Caregiving careers often suit your astrological sign, dear Gemini. The combination of your sharp mind and compassionate heart makes for an excellent approach to such things as social work, child and youth care, palliative care and the like. Providing you learn how to balance your own care needs with those of others, you can bring so much to the world around you with these abilities. Explore this field today even if you're already in it. You can always expand your skills.
Cancer Cancer
June 21 - July 21
When is the last time you volunteered your energy in aid of others, dear Cancer? If it's been a while, today would be a good time to set something up. There are so many avenues you can take in this area, you're sure to find something you really enjoy doing. Animal shelters look for people to walk dogs or cuddle cats, retirement homes look for people to share a cup of tea with, and soup kitchens are always in need of an extra hand. Find something that works for you and give it a try.
Leo Leo
July 22 - August 22
If things get too hard for you, dear Leo, are you open to seeking out some counseling? Don't let pride or embarrassment get in the way of getting the support you need in your life when things get to be too much. Ever look in the yellow pages under this category? There are literally thousands available. This is because there's a great demand for these services! You're not alone and the sooner you take care of yourself, the quicker you'll get back on the right track.
Virgo Virgo
August 23 - September 21
Are you a part of a religious or spiritual organization, dear Virgo? If so, is it something you really enjoy? There are many opportunities to get involved with your spiritual community that can bring you greater satisfaction. Check these out. There's also nothing saying you can't try out a couple of different organizations to see if you find a better fit for your personal needs if you are less than satisfied where you are. Expand your horizons today.
Libra Libra
September 22 - October 22
Spiritual growth may be an aspect of your development that has been neglected, dear Libra. If so, consider taking steps to bring more understanding of your beliefs into your life. If you go to church, are you learning there? Have you considered exploring other faiths? Have you ever asked yourself exactly what it is you do believe? Consider doing so and listen to your honest answers. This will be the means to finding more of what you need in this area.
Scorpio Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Consider exploring the many aspects of spirituality today, dear Scorpio. As a Scorpio, it may be that you lean much more towards fact than faith but there's nothing saying this can't change or that you can't learn more about this enormous subject. Check out the history of your current faith if you have one or explore the world religions. See what you can discover in the multitude of belief systems that are out there.
Sagittarius Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20
Get in touch with your spiritual side today, dear Sagittarius. Do you meditate or practice yoga? How much do you consider the content of your dreams? Do you know what you believe? Consider your answers to these questions and see what you can do to understand yourself better in this regard. Meditation and such reflective exercises are subjects you can learn a great deal about on the web. Check it out.
Capricorn Capricorn
December 21 - January 19
Do you attend a regular church or spiritual gathering, dear Capricorn? If so, is it a community that brings you fulfillment and satisfaction? If not, consider seeing about becoming more involved. There are various positions in most every spiritual group that are available for you to consider, from joining the choir to youth work. Another option is to explore other spiritual organizations in your community. Perhaps what you need is a change. Find the means to greater fulfillment in this area today.
Aquarius Aquarius
January 20 - February 17
Consider expanding your knowledge of spiritual subjects, dear Aquarius. Without knowing things about the various avenues open for exploration, how can you make an educated choice? Some need the traditionalism of one type of church while others like the more open feel of other spiritual groups. See how you like different churches and spiritual communities and consider trying a new visit each week for a while. You might really love this experience.
Pisces Pisces
February 18 - March 19
If you've been so busy helping others lately, dear Pisces, it may be time to replenish your spirit. If you currently engage in regular meditation, this can be the best way to rejuvenate. If you haven't tried this approach before, find out about it. The web has many resources and the local bookstore can also provide what you need. It really is as simple as smiling if that's what you want or deeply probing if that is your preference. You won't regret learning this ancient technique.
June 20

School

Well, I have been studying hard and have gotten a few more assignments done on my class.  And this morning, I did more research on the next step.  I think I need to start another class to keep myself on schedule.  The problem is:  I can't decide which to take:  Occupation Health and Safety, or Financial Accounting.   I really can't afford either, but I also think, I can't afford to put them off.  I have set a personal goal of taking my final exam for HRM on Aug 12th.  If I sign up for these classes (or one) then they would have to be done by February.  I think that is do-able.
Any thoughts?
 

Today

Aries Aries
March 20 - April 18
You can talk all you want, dear Aries, but it won't do you any good if no one is listening. There is a good chance that what you say will go in one ear and out the other. Be aware that even if you say something to someone that you think is perfectly clear, there is a good chance that he or she will not understand your message the way you intended it. If there is a piece of information that is extremely important, you are better off putting it in writing.
Taurus Taurus
April 19 - May 19
Feel free to throw away your agenda for the day, dear Taurus. There is very little chance that you will adhere to it anyway. Unexpected information is coming your way and fouling up your nicely laid plans. There is no way you can plan for everything that is likely to befall you, so make a decision this morning to let go of your need to control. Relax and let things happen as they will. In this way you will be much better able to roll with the punches.
Gemini Gemini
May 20 - June 20
Your brain has kicked into overdrive, dear Gemini, and at times you may feel like it is a runaway truck on a downward slope with no brakes and no turnouts. Although this may be a frightening thought for you, it is also an exciting one. The good news is that while on this crazy kamikaze path, you are likely to come up with brilliant ideas and ingenious thoughts that will bring tremendous progress to whatever projects you have in the works.
Cancer Cancer
June 21 - July 21
Your thoughts are likely to be erratic, dear Cancer, and it may be difficult for you to get a solid handle on what you really think. Even harder than this will be expressing yourself to others in a clear, coherent manner. You may end up rambling on for a few minutes before you finally get to the point of what you are trying to say. Even then you may not be sure that what you said is really what you actually mean.
Leo Leo
July 22 - August 22
You may feel as if you are standing in front of a firing squad that is shooting arguments at you head-on, dear Leo. Whatever you say, there is someone who fires back with exactly the opposite point. You may try to dodge the oncoming attack by faking left and shooting from the right. Even then, the attacker is quick to get you where it hurts. This verbal game may be fun for a while, but make sure you wear your bulletproof vest because one of those attacks may be rather hurtful.
Virgo Virgo
August 23 - September 21
Catching a cloud and pinning it down is never easy, dear Virgo, and unfortunately, that may be what you feel you need to do in order to keep on track with the energy of the day. Your mind is wandering in many different places, making it difficult for you to maintain focus. Meanwhile the cloud floating overhead is filled with information that you feel you need to grab hold of. In reality, what you need to do is learn how to relax.
Libra Libra
September 22 - October 22
All systems are go, and you will find that the necessary information comes to you exactly when you need it, dear Libra. This is one of those times when things seem erratic and disjointed, but in reality, everything makes perfect sense when you stand back and look at it from the right angle. Today, however, you may not have the chance to stand back at all because you are right in the thick of things, helping to make all the chain links fit together.
Scorpio Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
You may feel as if you are trying to put your finger on something that simply doesn't want to stay put, dear Scorpio. You are like a kid trying to catch a pigeon in the park. It seems so easy; you are so close to the pigeon. The bird doesn't seem to notice that you are approaching, and then right as you reach out your hands to grab him, the pigeon takes off and flies away. Don't get bent out of shape over this. The pigeon isn't yours to have.
Sagittarius Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20
It may seem as if your brain is your enemy instead of your ally, dear Sagittarius. For every thought that comes up, you might think of two more that contradict it. Then suddenly you have four thoughts contradicting the two contradicting thoughts. Pretty soon you find yourself going around in circles over an issue that is quite simple. Don't get angry with yourself, and try not to get frustrated. The key is to take things more slowly, and don't mentally jump ahead of the place you are at now. As20060620_9_0
Capricorn Capricorn
December 21 - January 19
Even if you tend to be more on the cautious side as an earth sign, dear Capricorn, risk-taking may seem more appealing today. While practicality is generally the way to go, personal and professional growth can be slow when you stick to only the guaranteed. You don't have to jump off a cliff without a helmet, but venturing into the unknown once in a while can bring excitement and adventure to your life. Try something new today.
Aquarius Aquarius
January 20 - February 17
Your mental powers are functioning at an extremely high level, dear Aquarius, and you will find that your mental agility is setting the stage for a very productive day. You're quick with your words, and you are able to pull facts and information out of thin air in order to prove your point and get your pertinent message across in the most efficient manner possible. Speak with confidence, and be articulate. You will command the respect of everyone around you.
Pisces Pisces
February 18 - March 19
It may be hard to go at your own pace, dear Pisces, when you feel as if there are multiple sets of people moving in on your space and trying to get you to do things in a certain way or think in a certain direction. Your automatic response is to adapt to the situation and cater to everyone else's agenda. This plan of attack may give you a nervous breakdown, however, when you find yourself being flung from one side of the arena to the other.
June 13

The Evil

Well, having updated you all on the Tattoo, and the finger, I figure I should update on the evil part.  What I need protection/strenght from/for!

 

Several weeks ago ( must be about 5 now)  the kids went to the Bull's for the weekend. ( As you may know, I am sure I mentioned I am getting back into aquatics. This is background)  On the Friday, I had a fitting at 4 pm, then I was finishing a First Aid course at 5-9 and then off to the Trews concert at the Tulip festival!  (It was also raining that day, I got really wet!)  The Bull picked Arianne up at my house  at 4 pm, and then was to get Edward at school because he had some field trip thing that was going late.  They knew my plans.  Apparently, I found out later, he picked up Arianne, drunk, and never got Edward (he went to a friends).  Saturday, I was teaching a class at a pool that is at the other end of the city from 3 to 9 pm.  I turned my Cell ringer off.  At the dinner break, I checked my phone.  My sister in law had called, I returned the call.  Arianne had called her in tears, daddy was on the couch, and she could not wake him, Edward was still at the friends, and she had one of her headaches coming on (she had not eaten yet that day!)  Mary went and got her!  Mary could not wake her brother up either!!!!!!  She was not impressed.  About an hour later, Mary called the Bull, explained where Arianne was, and asked if she should feed her dinner.  The Bull replied "That's ok, Arianne is across the street, she is having dinner there!"  In his drunken state, he did not even understand what she was saying!  The sad part is, Arianne decided to return to her fathers for the night!  Edward came back!

 

Now that I think about it, it was Mother's Day weekend.  I got a call on Sunday, they wanted to take me out for dinner.  They decided that we would go to the "All you can Eat buffet place"  The Bulls fav, my most hated! (I am sick of it!) or Montana's if the Buffet is full.  We were going to eat at 5 pm !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! It was full!  We went to Montana's there was an hour wait, AS WE DID NOT HAVE RESERVATIONS!!!!  Geee, novel thought, on MOTHERS DAY!!!  Anyway, during the whole dinner, the Bull did not say a word!  Just looked sad and pathetic  (probably hung over!) 

Oh yeah, I forgot, on Satuday, he dropped a tow hitch on his foot, so his Big toe was all swelled up and he could not walk well! (this is relivant to a later story!)  He ended up taking the week off work, drinking!

During same week, I cut my finger, and could not reach him the evening of the incident to watch the kids/drive me to the hospital! 

The following weekend, I took the kids up to my parents for a day trip on Saturday.  After we returned, Arianne asked if she could have a sleepover at her friends house, the one who lives across the street from the Bull.  She called, it was ok, I dropped her off (with reservations!)  Within an hour , she was calling me, from the Bull's house, in tears, she felt sick, could I come and get her!  Off I went!

When I got to his house, she answered.  He was sitting on the couch, drunk.  I sat down and pulled her on my lap, as she was sobbing!  It took a while to get her calm, I wanted to just take her home, but that little voice in my head told me I should stay a bit, to allow her to say bye to her dad (mistake!)  While we were sitting there, the Bull took off his sock, and shoved his foot in her face, and said: "I know how to make you feel better, my foot is getting better, I know that is what you are upset about"  ?????????WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??????  Then he asks her if she wants to rub it for him!  ICKY!!!  During this, the stupid woman from across the street comes over, she is intoxicated too!  She gets in Ariannes face and asks, "Is it the Holahoop, sweety?"  She thinks Arianne is upset about some holahoop that broke.  The Bull tells he to go home, Arianne is upset about his foot, then she tells him to be quiet, it is the holahoop!  Arianne in the meantime, is sitting on my lap with the most disgusted look on her face!  Finally, Donna goes home, and I can get Arianne out and i n the car.  In the car on the way home, she tells me...

When she go to Donna's "Daddy and Donna were drinking, there was beer on the floor, and it was disgusting"  Then Donna has to go pick up her middle child, in Kanata, that is a 20 min drive!  Arianne told me she was worried about Callie, and Donna, because Donna was drinking and driving (this is the same woman, who was in a car accident with Arianne in the car, and she lost her licence for a day, because she was over the limit!, I what FORBID my children to get in a car with her - this is relevant to later!!!)  She then told me "Daddy was babysitting us, and when Donna got home, she told Daddy to go home.   Then she made us watch a movie, and I did not want to watch it, so she told me to go to Daddy's"  Sigh.  What a disaster!

That week, Arianne ignored all calls from her friend.

During the next week he called to make arrangements to take them to the Gloucester Fair.  The Arrangement got complicated (and stupid, but really not too relevant to this story!)  But in the end, he picked them up at 12:30 saturday, and took them.  I gave them each $40, and reminded them where I would be, and gave them a cell phone, so they could call for ANY reason!  I had to teach at the pool on the other end of the city again that night.

That evening, after the class, my friend and I stood at chatted until 10:30 in the parking lot.  We discussed the kids.  She is the child of an Alcoholic, and gave me some really good percpective on the whole thing.  She reminded me, I am the Adult, and I have to make the decisions for the kids, asking them to evaluate a situation and call me if it is out of hand, it too hard for them!  It was really a good thing we talked, it helped me ALOT the next day.

The following morning, I called the Bull's house, and talked to Arianne.  I asked how it went.  She told me.  The short version:  He sat in the beer tent all afternoon, and could not drive them home, Donna did.  Donna also sat in the beer tent!

I WAS FURIOUS!

She also asked me to pick them up at noon!  That was odd! usually they wish to stay until dinner.

I drove over at EXACTLY noon.

Edward appeared from the house accross the street, gave me a big hug, and did not leave my side.  Arianne collected her stuff, and then they both got in the car, and the whole time, the Bull stood there, watching, looking sad and drunk!  They were not even going to say bye to him, I reminded them!

When we got home, I sat them down, and let them know.  I explained that clearly Daddy is getting worse not better, he can not care for them, and Donna is no better.  I then informed them that they would no longer be going to either house.  If Arianne wanted to play with her friends, they could come here, but she was not going to go there any more.  She was a little sad, but not really.

The following two weeks was pleasant, they were really happy kids, for a change!

Unfortunately, I could not get ahold of the Bull.  I left messages on his machine, asking him to call me.  I would not leave that info on the machine, I felt he needed to hear it live and have a chance to respond.  For a week and a half, he would not take my calls or return them.  Finally, this past Wednesday, his sister called and left a message, asking him to call me, and I called too.  If I did not hear from him that evening, I would leave it on his voice mail.  He called me back.  He took it well, he agreed, he informed me he had not drank since that weekend.  he knew that was REALLY bad. blah blah blah.  But, he did not make any plea for the kids!  Sad really!

Then on Friday, I got home and there was a message on my machine from Joan, Donna's mother.  Asking me to call, Donna was in the hospital!  I could not get ahold of her at that time, I called the Bull, he answered the third time.  He told me he did not have the details, but thought it was an allergic reaction.  That evening I finally got ahold of Joan, it was not an allergic reation, Donna had a stroke, it could have been her inhaller, or the fact that she was cleaning the basement, or maybe...... the Cocaine!!! ARGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!  Joan pleaded with me to go see Donna in the hospital, as she was depressed, and taking how it would have been better if she had died.  (Unfortunately, the evil part of my brain was thinking, YES!!!)  Anyway, the good part prevailed.  I went.  Unfortunately, Donna look pretty good, all things concidered.  I personally think she will have a full recovery!  DAMN IT! 

Well, I really did not know about the Coke.  I had my suspisions.  But it certainly validated my decision not to let the kids go there!  There is more to the story, but my hands are sore.

 

So that is it, the reason I NEED the Gargoyle.  The reason, I need something to look over me when I sleep.  The reason, I need something to consume the negative energy, and turn it positive.

Blessed Be!

Jel

 

June 12

Update

Well, I am having difficulty typing as I can't use my right index finger!
 
Why, you ask?.....
 
Well, about three weeks ago, as the deadlines loomed, I broke my cardinal rule: Never Cut after 7 pm!  I decided to sew up some costumes after dinner, while the kids were doing hokmework.  We had a Molopoly night planned!  I then decided to cut netting for tutus.  It would only take me 5 mins and then I would be ready for the next morning of sewing!  I cut with something called a Rotary cutter, it is a razer sharp pizza cutter!  I was going fast.... I ran over my finger.  I almost cut right through!  I got myself to the hospital, emerg.  And then proceded to pass out.  It is really a good thing to pass out in Emerg.  There was a 4 hour wait, I was in and out in under 2!  I got 7 stitches.  I would post a picture, but really it is still too gross to post!  To give you all an idea of what I did... Take your thumb and place it on the side of your index finger, as if you are grabbing something... now press in....what is covered by the thumb, I cut off.  It was just held on by 1/2 a cm!  EEEEKKKK!  LOTs of blood!  I have no feeling in the end of the finger as of now, but maybe... with time.... it may recover a bit!
 
Now, the tattoo.....
 
A Gargoyle is a symbol of protection.  The early christians put them on their churches to attract the pageans!  The gargoyles feed on evil and keep it out of the village, church etc. From the web:
 
Gargoyles are protective entities created to act as guardians. Depictions of gargoyles appear in medieval and gothic architecture, and it is no doubt that many of these ornamental creatures were enchanted to privide protection to their buildings.
 
There are seven or so types of lifeforms considered Gargoyles
 
1)Stayers are the defenders of Wizardry - Great Magics.

The Stayers are the first of what some scholars call Magichena, magically animated things that are "alive". Unlike many things, they know their history. The Stayers started existance as Guardian Statues, protecting the home of The Last Archwizard. They are of the classic Gargoyle mold, winged deformed humanoids. In an attempt to improve upon the basic guardian statue, the Archwizard gave them the ability to actually cast spells, so they could fly and project magic missiles. The first saw him create the second, those two saw him create the third, until all five original Stayers had been made.

The Stayers were somewhat intelligent and helpful. In addition to being powerful guardian statues, they became assistants... first of the tote and carry kind, but eventually doing a number of mundane and wizardly things for the ArchWizard.
 
2)Gharjoy are one of the seven things that are called Gargoyle. They may be the origin of all things Gargoyle. Gharjoy are astromorphs, astreal creatures. They are powerful hunting creatures who are "territorial", patroling their regions for things that pollute their territory. Their "visage" is quite horrific to those who can see them.

Gharjoy consume pawns (bundles) of negative energies. Each pawn is a combination of negative emotions, memories, and power- a sin in some parlances- Evil in others. They hunt any negative astromorph or pawn in their region.

Gharjoys, being positive energy creatures who fuze negative energy, have more "weight" than most astromorphs. They utilize the destructive energies to hunt and destroy other negative energy pawns and negative astromorphs. This balance of polarities allows them to focus upon the physical realm. Like all astreal things, unless they are anchored to the material in some way, they can only limitedly sense and interact with the physical. After finding a suitable anchor, they can bind themselves to the material and hunt there.
 
3)Geomorphs are related to Earth Elementals in structure and form, but these creatures have more in common with ectomorphs (spirit forms) than true Fey or Elementals. They may be a distant offshoot of spirit dragons.

In reality, they are actually an energy matrix, that soft glowing orb similar to all true Fey. Unlike most Fey, this orb can not shapeshift and become solid into traditional patterns. These matrices find there way into stone, embedding themselves into it, shaping and animating it. The form is normally based on the gente/ bloodline of the GeoMorph, but is normally a winged humanoid with a monsterous face and general human proportions. The form is clawed and the wings are similar to a bats or dragons rather than a feathered form. ). Some gentes/ bloodlines will be sphynx like, or one appears to be a pile of small rocks in a humanoid form.

Though nocturnal, they can function perfectly well during the day. (There is a theory that sunshine interferes with their control of the stone, which seems to be played out by their reduced speed, dexterity, and strength during the day).
 
  I, as an Aquarius, am Air.  Earth is the Ying to my Yang. 
 
Well, I have to go make dinner, later my friends.... more later..
June 11

I'm back!!!!1

The costumes are done, I am back, I don't know how much I will be blogging in the near future, I have alot to catchup on around the house.  That, and the fact it is hard to type missing a finger (how is that for a teaser!!!! more on that later!)
 
Guess what I did last night????
 
I got a tattoo!!!! WOO WHOOO!!! got a pic, Arianne took it!! it is on my left shoulder!
 
I needed a guardian, my life is crazy, the evil forces have been busy!!!
 
Let me know what you think!
Jel